NEWS

Published on July 16th, 2018 | by sligoadmin

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Deadly Syndrome Hits Sligo

A deadly malaise has descended upon the citizens of Sligo and indeed the whole country. Experts have been called in to try and identify the cause and suggest possible treatments.

Condition

An individual unlucky enough to present with the condition displays feelings of intense longing, anxiety and boredom. They usually report that there is nothing for them to do in the evenings and mid afternoon.

Swearing

This manifestation usually lasts approximately two hours and involves the subject swearing at a TV. It quickly passes but surfaces repeatedly.  It’s believed that symptoms may last up to four years.

Males

Dutch professor, Dr. Marius Kickabot stated “this condition that we are calling WCWS* mainly affects males but, not predominately. A vaccine is being trialled by the WHO and if successful could be distributed in days.”

Cream

That’s good news for sufferers however the Dutch fella says that it’s probably too late for all that now. He suggested that a soothing cream spread evenly over the body can give temporary relief.

End

However Marion (40) from Cranmore who rubbed cream on her partner last night reported “he was in a bad way alright. He was in floods of tears when he realised it wasn’t helping and there would be no happy end.”

(*WCWS is not contagious – it is also known as World Cup Withdrawal Syndrome).

 


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