Published on June 26th, 2018 | by sligoadmin


England Win World Cup of Nations

By Cockney Dave – SligoSligoNews soccer correspondent

The mighty team from the country that brought you the Magna Carter, Shakespeare, Nelson, red double-decker busses and Big Ben. The home of that king Henry – the one who’s actions and needs led to the formation of the Church of England, the people who do (and don’t) want a Brexit. Well they have only gone and done it at last. They’ve only gone and won the soccerball world cup.

“It’s been 52 years of ‘urt until now” said an England supporter. After conquering the behemoth football nations of Tunisia and Panama they have been awarded the cup by FIFA (under new VAR rules) and also because the other teams in the competition don’t want to face England and suffer abject humiliation and a “good thumping” – that’s on the pitch.


It doesn’t matter that Tunisia only have one or two professional players that ply their trade in Europe or that Panama only started playing soccerball about 10 years ago. England have done themselves proud and that’s all that matters. Harry Kane will be Knighted and Gareth Southgate will be made prime minister for life.


SligoSligoNews Editor : We’ve had to sack Cockney Dave as his report was apparently a bunch of lies and the World Cup is not over yet. There are some other teams left in the competition who may have some bearing on the outcome.

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