Exclusive – Transcript of Trump and Enda’s Private Conversation
The Taoiseach and the US President met in the White House earlier and Sligo Sligo News has managed to obtain a transcript of their private conversation*.
Enda: How are ya boss?
Trump: Welcome to my winter Whitehouse. Mr Teashop.
Enda: Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Mr. President. It’s an honour.
Trump: What did you say your name was again? Edna?
Enda: It’s Enda, but sure, you can call me anything you want. Edna is fine.
Trump: Okey Dokey, You’ve got a present for me, what have you got?
Enda: Yes sir Mr President, here you are.
Trump: Hey Edna what is this shit? This is bad.
Enda: It’s a bowl of shamrock, your highness. We wear it on St. Patrick’s day. It’s got three leaves that represent the holy trinity, don’t you know.
Trump: The Holy Trinity Group hey, they sound important. Good.
Enda: Can I ask you a favour Mr President?
Trump: Sure Edna, what is it?
Enda: Can you see your way to doing anything about the undocumented Irish?
Trump: The what?
Enda: The undocumented.
Trump: What’s that? Who?
Enda: Illegal Irish immigrants.
Trump: No.
Enda: OK So. I just had to bring it up. Am! Mr President do you fancy a trip back to the old emerald isle at some stage?
Trump: Talk about bringing things up. Oh! Edna, I believe you’re asking me back to your place is that right?
Enda: Yes Mr President.
Trump: I’d love to visit London. You’re so forward. Here Edna sit on my lap. Yeah that’s right baby. It’s ok Edna, just relax baby I’m just trying to grab your Pu**y.
Enda: MISTER PRESIDENT!!!! I’m not that type of Taoiseach.
Trump: Wait a minute that’s not a Pussy!! Oh! My Edna are you transgendering? Ok get out now. This is bad. Don’t use the washroom ok?
* There was a bug in the bowl of shamrock.
Please note secret service people the bug was a beetle.