NEWS

Published on August 21st, 2019 | by sligoadmin

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Garda Porn Scandal

Reports  on the wire (just an old fashioned phrase and a means where news was once circulated) reached us to say that a senior member of the force in Sligo managed to accumulate one of the largest and presumably dirtiest collections of dodgy material in the country.

Fire

A SligoSligoNews reporter is currently on standby outside his large two storey detached house, valued at over €850k, in order to get some dirt. Rumours had been circulating for the last few months and seeing as they spread to a number of pubs in the area everyone knew the shocking revelations had to be true. There’s no smoke without fire as they say.

Large

A statement was issued by the man last night and read as follows: “Yes I have painstakingly and carefully built up a large extensive collection. I started gathering pieces almost twenty years ago. Other serving members of the force both male and female have seen it and expressed surprise. I’m proud of what I’ve built up. I hope to be left alone to continue to enjoy the fruits of my efforts in the privacy of my own home with the kind and continued support of my wife and family. Thank you”.

Hell

What a pervert! It was reported that the Garda exhibited no sense of shame or professed his remorse. This website endorses the widely held and also the publicly held view (which we just made up) that this man should burn in the fires of hell for eternity.

News Just In

We’ve just learned that the collection is in fact a pawn collection as the man is an avid chess fan. It’s not our fault. In all honesty we heard it as “porn collection”.

 

 


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