NEWS

Published on April 16th, 2017 | by sligoadmin

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Gluten Free Shopper Causes a Scene in Supervalu

There was chaos in a local Supervalu store this Easter Sunday morning when a customer “lost it” and caused an unholy row.

Buns

At approximately 10:30 this morning an exasperated scream emanated from the artisan (fancy) bread section. A shopper perusing the shelves loudly voiced his disbelief that none of the hot cross buns on display were free of gluten. The words used by the shopper cannot be repeated on a family friendly site.

Doctor

The shopper in question was one Derek Kelly, (30) who drives a Range Rover, works in IT and owns his own detached home. He discovered his intolerance to gluten last November following intensive self diagnosis using the eminent Dr. Google.

Eyes

The IT expert who was said to be irate, stormed out of the shop but not before swearing at till supervisor Lucy. We briefly spoke to a tearful Lucy (who does not wish to give her last name). “It was terrifying,” she stated “everyone froze. No one knew what to do. My life flashed before my very eyes. It ended as soon as it began, luckily. He left and drove off.”

Derek was later apprehended by a recently formed Garda unit dedicated to cut down on such crimes. Gluten intolerance is a serious debilitating illness that affects 3 in every 4 affluent self-important people.


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