Heaven Knows We’re Miserable Now

The year 2020 will go down in history (as will all other years). Australians had their bushfires. The ice caps are still melting. Climate change is affecting the planet in ways too numerous to mention.

Pandemic

But to us in Ireland, that’s nothing. The year started with unbelievable floods and storms – remember when the Shannon burst its banks and threatened to drown the country? So very very long ago. This beautiful, most wondrous, coronavirus pandemic has closed the country since March 27.

Drugs

The lockdown has led to unemployment, isolation, cocooning (whatever that is?), sleeping problems, depression, anxiety, financial worries, kids at home from school getting bored and annoying parents, teenagers throwing house parties, parents annoying kids, teenagers knocking the shit out of each other. There’s been an increase in domestic violence and uncontrolled boozing at home. A lack of drugs has led to a further dampening of the mood.

Shit

Such joy, we love it. It’s all good. We love wallowing in depths of misery, like pigs in shit. We are used to this, we can cope. We are now facing the biggest recession ever. Youth unemployment has increased to 51% – let’s make it 100% – Come ON. This time there’s nowhere for them to f**k off to – emigration is not an option.

Shit!

Let’s face it, when things are going well, we don’t do well. Remember the boom? It kept getting “boomier” (official government political quote). We couldn’t handle it and went to pieces. It was a mess, until the follow up recession. We knew what to do – we got the rubber gloves and shoveled that shit! So put on the green jersey and wallow in untold misery. Keep a smile on everyone’s face.

We are the best. We are number one at this. Irish people are the happiest miserabilists in the world.