Published on August 22nd, 2018 | by sligoadmin


Items Banned For The Big Mass

SligoSligoNews has exclusively obtained a secret list of items banned from the Papal masses this weekend. Anything on the list will be confiscated by Gardai and destroyed. If members of the public attempt to sneak in any of the following items they will be physically ejected from the gig.

  • Sledgehammers
  • A sense of humour
  • Boxty
  • Hang Sandwiches
  • Cans of lager (bottles of Stout are permitted)
  • Flags of foreign countries
  • Flagons of cider
  • Protest Banners critical of the church
  • Tee shirts with critical slogans
  • Tee shirts with funny slogans
  • AK47 assault rifles
  • Handguns
  • Anything that could be used as a weapon (includes sarcasm)
  • Suitcases/luggage – those ones with the little wheels
  • Offensive people
  • Annoying Dubs selling shite merchandise
  • Bananas and all offensively shaped fruit
  • Wheelie bins
  • Protestants or Lutherans of any sort (if you bring one you’ll have to leave at turnstiles until end of gigs)
  • Blow up dolls – particularly in the shape of altar boys

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