NEWS

Published on July 26th, 2018 | by sligoadmin

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Love Island Bad For Health

Pensioner John O’Reilly (90) was rushed to hospital last night suffering from shock. A spokesperson at Sligo hospital (was General – now University graduated) said, “John has endured a severe trauma and was admitted in a state of shock”.

Naked

Apparently John had been channel surfing as a lot of impatient oldies do and he came across some distressing scenes on screen. “An announcement by the telly announcer fella said that Love Island would be up next after the break,” the poor distressed old man explained. “I thought it would a romantic thing or nature programme so I waited for the ads to finish. And after only ten minutes me eyes nearly fell out of my head. “I didn’t expect to see near naked women and men on the telly,” said John.

Screwing

A hospital consultant confirmed that John was being treated for PTSD similar to what soldiers experience after combat. It was induced by the sight or knowledge that the contestants on the programme were actually screwing each other.


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