SPORT

Published on August 15th, 2016 | by sligoadmin

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“Olympics – Wall to Wall Bollix”

A distressed Sligo woman has sensationally stated that the Brazil Olympics in Rio de Janeiro is nothing but “wall to wall bollix.”

Track and Field

The woman who wishes to remain anonymous (but we will call her Bernie) contacted the offices of SligoSligoNews to make her protestations. Bernie who is believed to live on ‘The Hill’ came to the conclusion after watching the track and field events at the games over the weekend.

Filthsprinter

“Those likey shorts leave nothing to the imagination. “It’s a disgrace,” stated the middle aged Sligonian “I was up until 4:30 this morning watching coverage and re-runs. My eyes are crossed in my head and it’s spinning from looking at this filth. RTE should be ashamed of itself for allowing that sort of thing on our tellys and into decent homes.

Bernie stated that she would take the matter to her local TD, “I’m going to take this to my local TD,” she later tweeted.

Lunchbox

When informed that what she had repeatedly witnessed was longingly referred to as an ‘athletes lunchbox’ she loudly protested, “What I saw has nothing to do with lunch unless it’s made up of a banana and two feckin’ oranges.”

Dressed

From her observations Bernie curiously noted that the majority of US based athletes dressed to the right while those from Russia and the former Soviet states dressed to the left.

 


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