NEWS

Published on January 9th, 2020 | by sligoadmin

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Our Reputation Fucked

A Sligo representative has today lambasted the youth of the country.

Sex

Councillor Thaddeus McFillibuster who represents Sligo central asked “Who do these young people think they are?” A recent study into the behaviour of kids between the ages of 10 to 17 found that fewer of them are smoking, drinking and having sex. The study by the Department of Health found that a whopping 64% of those surveyed never touched alcohol. “That’s almost two-thirds of them,” he said looking up from his calculator. “It’s simply not good enough, this is doing the country tremendous reputational damage. When we were that age we spent all our free time getting pissed, lighting up and screwing”.

Smoke

Thaddeus went on to claim that the children of the country are in effect “letting the side down very badly”. But it looks like it’s a trend that is set to continue. Year on year there has been increase in the number not drinking and a decrease in the number who smoke. The amount of those reported having sex is down 3 percent to 24.

Danger

Another councillor who preferred to remain anonymous stated “this lot have  it too soft, there’s a danger they’ll turn into bloody Europeans. And another thing 22% of them have tried e-cigarettes, what the f*&k is that all about”. The minister of health says he was struck by the fact that most alcohol was obtained in the family home – well how else are they supposed to get booze when older strangers and “friends” are refusing to buy it for them in off-licences and supermarkets.

 


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