NEWS

Published on March 2nd, 2017 | by sligoadmin

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P Found In Pools

This is not a story about words and spelling and all of that guff. No a scientific study by a group of Canadian scientists, who with a lot of time on their hands to study these kinds of things, have revealed how much pee can be found in a swimming pool.

Disgusting

The study has shown that as much as 75 litres can be found in average pools. The scientists have cleverly worked out how to measure the amount of urine pools contain using artificial sweeteners. Yes, those clever little sweets that enhance our cups of tea or coffee. It sounds disgusting and it is.

Culprits

On average about 20% of adults have admitted to taking a “leak” when visiting a municipal facility. However the real culprits are believed to be school groups – particularly from boys schools – and OAPs. We spoke to Greta (84) who told us her shameful tale.

Olympics

“By the time I’ve managed to get myself changed, walk through the shallow foot pool, then shuffle along the side of the pool and get in at the shallow end, climbing slowly down the metal ladder I find I need to go. I don’t want to get out again and waste all that time, so, well, you know,” said the callous octogenarian. “Look at the swimmers at the last Olympics. They pissed in the pool so much the water changed colour from blue to a horrid green,” she said in an attempt to deflect attention.

SligoSligoNews can happily report that Greta has since been banned from her local pool by the lifeguards.


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