NEWS

Published on December 24th, 2020 | by sligoadmin

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Pardon Me, Trump

Donald Trump is set to posthumously pardon a number of people before his reign ends in January. The following are being considered.

  • Ted Bundy – “Such a fluffy first name”.
  • Charles Manson – “From the great swing state of Ohio”.
  • Jeffrey Dahmer – “ Wisconsin man a state that should have voted for me”.
  • Jack the Ripper – “Mystery man”.
  • Harold Shipman – “Would have been a frontline worker”.
  • Hitler – “Such a nice fellow and a great leader”.
  • Stalin – “Loved his moustache”.
  • Leopold II – “Can’t wait for the next movie Leopold III”.
  • Pol Pot – “What can I say? His name makes me laugh, every time”
  • Gengis Khan – “He rode a horse goodly”.
  • Nero – “Great musician, man he could play”.
  • Cruella deVil –  “She simply loved Dalmatians”. 

Although some may not be US citizens, or alive for that matter and at least one is fictional, the soon to be ex-president wants to pardon them for their outstanding work and contributions to the world.

However the man known to some as Kris Kringle will not be pardoned because of multiple yearly re-offences of breaking and entering.

 

 


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