NEWS

Published on October 10th, 2019 | by sligoadmin

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Prison Is Slimming

Listen up bitches. Forget the X plan or Y plan or whatever plan you’re on for losing weight – the best and latest trend is to shed those pounds in jail.

Doughnut

When Fatty Mc Fucketty Fuck a nortorious criminal was sent down for armed robbery and sheep rustling he weighed a whopping 220kgs. The New York police department had been after him for three years before finally catching him outside a doughnut shop stuffing his face. He was tried for his crimes, convicted and sentenced to 10 years.

Behind

But unbelievably after 18 months behind bars he’s now a slim and healthy 76kgs. Scientists and diet column writers are astounded and are now pushing a life of incarceration for those who want to lose serious weight.

Crimes

But how do you get on this plan you may ask? Well just commit some crimes – nothing too nasty that will get you sent away for life e.g. murder. And the most important part, don’t forget to get caught. You don’t want all that hard work going to waste because you become an expert at evading the long arm of the law.

Of course when you do get into prison it’s important to avoid a shanking and dropping the soap in the showers.


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