Published on February 21st, 2017 | by sligoadmin0
Record Industry Announce Major New Initiative
They want to persuade people to buy the same music yet again.
By Ben O’Rian
It is over 100 years since Thomas Edison recorded his famous ‘Mary Had A Little Lamb’ message into a primitive voice recorder and now the recording industry is set to revolutionise the way we listen to music once again!
We are all familiar with restored and repackaged versions of popular recordings and words like ‘Digitally Remastered’, ‘Hi-Definition’, ’24 bit’ and ‘Super Audio CD’ are indeed the hallmarks of high quality sound recordings. Now a major new initiative and a major new superlative are being launched. Metricisation.
Pretty soon, record shops (a bit like game shops, younger readers – only the shiny discs on sale don’t have video content) and all the major online music streaming services like Spotify and iTunes will be boasting repackaged ‘Metricised’ versions of all your favourites. This new process involves highly specialised conversion of familiar songs into the metric system. The Proclaimers 1987 worldwide smash ‘500 miles’ will soon be available as ‘802 Km’ and Beyonce’s risqué ‘Six Inch’ will swell to ’15 Centimetres’, while ‘I Can See For Miles’ by The Who will predictably become ‘I Can See For Kilometres’. Not forgetting to mention Afrojack’s ‘Ten Feet Tall’ which will soon be available as ‘Three Meters Tall’.
Record industry insider Myles Stone said recently through one corner of his mouth, and this was off the record, that new ways had to be found to persuade people to buy their entire record collections all over again. “We’ve had massive success selling old rope in the past, just by enhancing the sound quality, I mean there are actually people out there who have bought 78rpm shellac discs, vinyl 45rpm discs, 12inch (30 cm) long playing records, reel to reel tapes, 8 track cartridges, cassette tapes, compact discs, digital audio tapes, mini discs and 180 gram vinyl versions of the same record.” “They have kept our industry going through thick and thin and because sound quality is finally beginning to go backwards with mp3s, we had to figure new ways to exploit them.” He added that the existing versions of familiar recordings would be phased out with immediate effect, except in the three territories still using the imperial system, Myanmar, The United Kingdom and The United States.