NEWS

Published on January 15th, 2017 | by sligoadmin

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Roscommon Man Gets Sligo Girl in Trouble

News has just reached the offices of SligoSligoNews of a most galling and horrendous incident involving a hairy handed “Rossie” man and a beautiful jewel of a girl from Sligo. The matter has only come to light in recent days concerning the man, who it’s believed to be from the Ballaghaderreen area and an entirely innocent “colleen” from the Strandhill road.

Neanderthal

Speaking today to SSN a Local Fianna Fail councillor said “this brute, this f^&ing brute can only be described as a Neanderthal and what’s worse he’s from outside the county. On behalf of the party and, I believe I speak here for all the members of Sligo County Council, I wish to sympathise with the poor girl and say we will stand full square behind her.”

Ruined

It’s understood that that girl has been staying with relatives in the Donegal area in order to avoid the glare of publicity that has surrounded herself and her family. She was unavailable for comment. However a neighbour with a very concerned look did manage to say that the girl has been “ruined”.

Gardai

Our intrepid SligoSligoNews reporter made enquiries as to the involvement of the Gardai but was informed that their assistance would not be required on this occasion. When our man asked after the nature of the crime he learned that the “Rossie” had only gone and told her mam she was smoking. Shocking stuff indeed.

 


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