Published on December 31st, 2017 | by sligoadmin0
Shocking Truth About New Year Resolutions Revealed
Social scientists at Sligo IT have carried out a detailed study into resolutions routinely made at this time of year.
It’s the 31st of December 2017 and after all the cheering and partying and kissing at midnight has died down and we move into 2018, the reality of the new year will quickly dawn on most people. For those who’ve made promises either in public or to themselves the boffins have drawn up a time table to show how long the average resolution lasts. And some of the reasons given for failure are included.
Giving up the drink – lasts about 30 seconds until someone passes around the champagne bottle and sure it’s the new year after all.
Cigarettes – usually 4 days. Just one won’t hurt and suddenly you’re back up to 40 a day. Besides the weight was starting to creep back up.
Getting rid of the beer belly – 3 weeks. Twenty daily sit ups quickly turns into fifty and then one hundred. But it just won’t work – the beer has to be ditched as well.
Losing weight – 3 months. Every fad diet has been tried, you’re walking ten miles every evening but you’ve still got an arse like a bucket of spuds. What’s the fucking use – pass the crisps and cake.
Becoming a better person, treating people with kindness and compassion. One nanosecond – you’re a miserable bastard and you know it.
We at SSN resolve to not make any resolutions. Therefore we won’t be disappointing ourselves or anyone else.
Happy new year.