NEWS

Published on August 8th, 2019 | by sligoadmin

0

Sligo Hippies Don’t Wash

Bacteria

More and more people around the world are curtailing their use of soap and Sligo hippies are no slouches in this regard. It’s a growing movement and most of those people that have stopped washing believe bacteria can do the cleaning instead. 

Smell

We spoke to Piotr O’Grady who hasn’t showered or bathed for the last 10 years. He’s made the bold claim that he doesn’t smell. At all. We agreed to meet him outside, in the People’s Park for obvious reasons. 

Odour

When we approached the park gate our photographer doubled over and vomited. I have to admit it was overwhelming. “That’s not me,” claimed Piotr “some bloke just let his dog take a massive dump a moment ago. Over there. See?”. We couldn’t see. Just another hippy who hasn’t used soap for years and claims he doesn’t have body odour. 

Sweat

Well that’s what they would say. They are hippies after all. Rincing and bathing in a lake are one of the things hippies also indulge in that are supposed to be good for humans. Some “experts” say we should be living in a more “stone age” kind of way. They say that friendly bacteria will consume ammonia from a person’s sweat.  If you use soap it will rid the skin of protective oils and alter PH levels (yeah whatever). They also say there is such a thing as a skin microbiome that protects humans and keeps them healthy.

Unwashables

A whole industry has developed around the unwashables. Soap manufacturers are bringing out new products to meet the demands of these crazy, putrid, armpit hair ridden customers. One office wag suggested “I can’t believe it not soap, soap – it’ll probably just be a block of wood or a stone”.

 


About the Author



Comments are closed.

Back to Top ↑