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Published on June 26th, 2017 | by sligoadmin

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That DUP Deal in Full

Behind the headline grabbing figure of a £1 billion deal agreed between the Democratic Unionist Party and the Conservatives to prop up the UK government, there lies the hidden details which we can exclusively reveal to you today in an exclusive story what no one else has their hands on.

Reveal

As a result of intrepid reporting and high quality investigative journalism*  carried out  by SligoSligoNews we can reveal the parts of the deal the powers that be don’t want you to know.

Marches and Flags

As is their right and tradition the annual 12th of July parade can now proceed through O’Connell Street Dublin. Full protection must be provided by a 5000 strong security contingent. Union flags can be flown anywhere at any time. The Irish government has welcomed the move.

Drum

The Lambeg drum must be beaten day and night outside Catholic housing estates in all towns in Northern Iron.

Shade

All official signage, writing and graphics depicted in black must be re-painted in a bright orange. This applies to all road signs. However any text currently printed on an orange background must be painted white or a lighter shade of orange. A DUP member of palianment labelled the policy “black is the new orange.”

 

* We asked a woman with a nordy accent who claimed she once lived near the Shankill road.


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