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Published on November 16th, 2016 | by sligoadmin

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Tits Are Out – Of Vogue

cleavage 2Put them away missus

The December issue of Vogue is all in a tizzy due to the absence of cleavage on the fashion front. It’s proving to be not much of an early Christmas present for males.

Tits

The strait laced fashion magazine has only gone and declared that tits are out of fashion. To be more accurate it’s actually cleavage that is not in at the moment.

Tit-less models and women across the planet are rejoicing now that wardrobe choices will be easier to make. Sales of clunky knit jumpers are expected to soar this winter.

It is reported that groups of thirteen year old boys on Sligo streets were seen to be weeping openly as the news sunk in.

A Short history of cleavage

Discovered in 17th century France – prior to the revolution when high falluting ladies spent hours getting into clothes specifically designed to put them on display.

Some reports claim that cleavage was on display long before the Frenchies got in on the act, but there are no good pictures so anthropologists have discounted the theory.

Historian Seymour Diddy (the man who invented the see-through bra) stated that we’ve seen this all before. From his mansion, high up in the Alps, he maintained “It’s all a storm in a D-Cup. These things comes in cycles. In the Victorian era  for example which was quite puritanical women were expected to keep them hidden away.”

In his bestselling book – To Die or Bust he noted that “Early nineteenth century women were expected to wear tight fitting garments that flattened the chest.”

But as SligoSligoNews knows, from the 1950s onward (until now) it was chocks away and boys oh boys – tits were in because the fashion was to get them out.


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