NEWS

Published on July 1st, 2016 | by sligoadmin

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Top Nutritionist Concerned With Those Who Said No To Brexit

BAD-GOOD BrexitNigel Whitehead, a leading nutritionist in the UK, has come out publicly from his kitchen to discuss his concern that almost 50% of the British public said No to Brexit.

“Brexit is the most important meal of the day.  I think it is no surprise that the Scotch people were overwhelmingly in favour of saying No.  My research, conducted when I visited our hunting lodge last summer, has shown that they no longer want brexits dipped in batter and deep fried.” he commented with a laugh.

Nanny

When challenged by SligoSligoNews that perhaps he didn’t know what Brexit was the nutritionist retorted, “Nonsense. I know exactly what Brexit is.  I have enjoyed Brexit all my life – ever since I was a boy and Nanny dipped my soldiers in my soft boiled egg.  She always did them just right.  Just three minutes. The English way.”

“The English always used to take Brexit very seriously but I think these days it is wise to avoid the more traditional fried brexits as they are full of salt, sugar and fat,” he warned.

Quality

These days, he admitted, he didn’t indulge in too many eggs and preferred the more European approach of fresh squeezed orange juice and muesli with fruit. He went on to say that the No vote appeared to be a protest vote about the quality of the Brexits available and any visit to a local “caf” would give you ample evidence for this level of malcontent.  He felt sure if the European Brexits had been promoted, the country would not have been so divided.

Hostile

When told that the No voters had probably eaten a lot of European breakfasts and that perhaps he really, really didn’t understand the vote Mr Whitehead became openly hostile and told this reporter to “fuck off,” because “he wanted his kitchen back”.


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