NEWS

Published on May 31st, 2019 | by sligoadmin

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Trump Will Not Visit Sligo

Local Republican party (not Sinn Fein) members are livid.

Un-elected

Apparently the US president was invited to visit Sligo by independent local un-elected councillor Fidelma O’Sullivan-Murphy-Ryan. But Mr Trump hasn’t replied to the invitation.

Doll

The proposed visit would have taken in Sligo Abbey, Sligo Jail and Sligo Institute of Technology. However the Latin Quarter was deemed a “no go area” for obvious reasons. A trip to a pharmacy was planned in case “The Donald” wanted to top up his tan. School kids who made a papier mache doll of the president were sorely disappointed and dumped the doll. The planned parade, formal presentation of locally grown flowers and the mass have also been cancelled.

Protests

However not everyone would have been thrilled – the local Mexican population, all two of them – had planned a protest. They managed to get their hands on a pinata (papier mache representation) of Donald Trump and had planned to batter it to pieces with baseball bats on O’Connell Street. The Irish government said this action would have made Sligo a target of US aggression on the same level as Iran. A large garda presence was planned to avert any protests.

SligoSligoNews took to the streets of to gauge reactions.

Oliver said “Get out of that, I wouldn’t want that f*&^ing gobshite anywhere near me.”

“What would that ar^*hole be invited to Sligo for anyhows?” asked Mary.

Maisie who runs a sweetie shop said she was disappointed as she was hoping to give him a bag of gobstoppers to “stop the c*&t talking shite.”


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