Published on October 11th, 2017 | by sligoadmin


US to Arm Clowns

In a startling move earlier today POTUS (President of the United States) has moved to arm circus clowns.


Fearing an attack could be imminent, according to reports by Homeland Security, a spokesperson for the White House has detailed how such an event could be averted. “If there was even the slightest possibility of a mass shooting taking place at a circus,” stated Mr. H. Banger earlier today “then an armed Bozo, Krusty, Chuckles or whoever, could instantly take down any assailant.”


It is understood all circus clowns will be supplied with army issue automatic weapons. The initiative has received extensive praise from The National Rifle Association who described it as a “sensible measure.”


The clowns will be disguised with a hat, wig, large round nose, one piece pyjama suit with oversized woolly buttons and size 20 shoes. Only clowns that traditionally wear white face makeup will be allowed to be armed for obvious security reasons. If a shooter tries to make a getaway they can be chased down in a clown car or bicycle and swiftly brought to justice.


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