ENTERTAINMENT

Published on January 1st, 2017 | by sligoadmin

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We Are Resolved For 2017

It’s that time of year again when we all say “it’s that time of year again”. It’s time to make a plethora of promises to ourselves we hope to keep for the new year that’s in it. Below is a list of resolutions that staff at SligoSligoNews have made for this year…

Resolutions

“I will give up smoking” – Micheal the caretaker – caught at 5pm this evening with a fag in his mouth.

“I will grow my hair long.” – Baldy O’Meara – Photoshop expert.

“I will shower more instead of using so much deodorant.” – Kev – Sports editor.

“I will stop wetting the bed and blaming the wife.” – Pat – Newsdesk.

“I will not take a bath anymore, so as to conserve water.” – John – Sportsdesk

“I will stop stalking my ex – using facebook, email, snapshat, etc.. “ Imelda – Accounts

“I will spend more time with neglected, poor and degraded children – Mark, Tina and April, my own children.” – Andrew – Security

“I will endeavour to stop farting in the lift and pretending someone else has let off.” John – Owner SligoSligoNews

“I will check that tissues are on hand before I have a wank.” – Willie – Celebrity and Entertainment

“I will get my own back on all the bastards that have treated me badly in 2016.” Fergus – Newsdesk

“I will break my habit of taking sleeping pills after downing a bottle of laxatives.” – Deidre – Marketing and Adverstising.

“I will give up chocolate.” – Freda – Receptionist.

“I will lose 50 pounds.” Fat Pat – Intern

“I will get my arse down to the gym every morning for the next three months – I hear that they do great coffee down there.” – Mike – Sales.


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